emo

2009-01-15T13:00:00.000-08:00

know me?

i have already moved to

http://jun-girl.blogspot.com

2009-01-14T12:55:00.000-08:00

seriously, if i were to further my studies oversea, will u wait for me to be back?

should i go or should i not go?

i changed because of u, but did u change because of me? NO, u didnt. i was disappointed in u, as well as in myself. i was hoping that u will change. trying so hard to prove everything i do is worth doing it for u. but u dont seem to appreciate it. or maybe u did appreciate it. but in a different way.

tell me now, what can i do? stuck here in the middle of nowhere. where should i go now?

想起过去的事,
让我不由自主地以泪洗脸.
害怕历史重演的我,
像个无头的蛇似的,
横冲直撞地乱跑.
到了连自己也不认识的地方,
过着一个人的生活.
回想过去所经历过的事,
我每天都以泪洗脸,
很希望过去的不愉快,
不曾发生过.

2009-01-13T14:00:00.000-08:00

happy with my life now. you, you, and YOU, dont fucking come and disturb me and my life.

i choose to be married, choose to be with who, doesnt concern YOU. from the day we are apart, even if i die, it doesnt concern u anymore.

dont fucking come tell me u will still wait for me or whatever fuck. i dont need that ok? you know what YOU did to me that time. SO DONT FUCKING COME TELL ME YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR ME SINCE THEN.

IF U WERE WAITING, SO WHAT?? GO FIND YOUR LOVELY "GIRLFRIEND" OR "FLING" WHOM YOU LOVE TO BE WITH.

I AM NO BODY TO YOU. SO GO LIVE HAPPILY WITH YOUR SO CALL " ANOTHER HALF", DONT COME BULL SHITTING TO ME IN MSN, YOU STILL LOVE ME, YOU WILL WAIT FOR ME NO MATTER WHAT, OR WHATEVER SHIT.

LET ME REPEAT MYSELF. IF I DIE, IT DOESNT CONCERN YOU. EVEN IF I AM SINGLE, YOU WONT BE IN MY LIST OF CONSIDERATION. BECAUSE YOU DONT FIT TO BE IN IT, YOU DONT FIT TO BE OR KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME.

UNDERSTOOD?

I KNOW YOU ALL WILL BE READING THIS. SO DONT FUCKING COME DISTURB ME ANYMORE. I HAVE ALREADY MADE MYSELF CLEAR ENOUGH FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND.

OH YA, TO THAT PARTICULAR PERSON, I NEED ANYTHING, OR WANT ANYTHING, IT DOESNT CONCERN YOU. SO DONT COME TELL ME YOU WILL BUY FOR ME OR WHATEVER FUCK.

I WILL ONLY ASK THE ONE I LOVE, I TRUST, TO GET ANYTHING I WANT FOR ME.

DONT COME INTERFER ME OR MY LIFE ANYMORE. THE MORE YOU GET INTO MY LIFE, THE MORE I HATE YOU.

FOR NOW, I AM WAITING FOR THAT ONE AND ONLY PERSON.

HE IS THE GUY I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO BE WITH. WE WENT THROUGH THICK AND THIN TOGETHER.

ALOT OF THINGS CAME IN BETWEEN OF US. WE WERE APART, AND THEN BACK TOGETHER AGAIN.

I AM HOPING IT TO LAST. BUT WILL IT LAST?

i miss u, do u miss me?

i love u, do u love me?

will u be by my side when i cry?
just like how i be by ur side when u need me?

ps. oh ya. u choose to use ignored again. but its ok. if u were trying to use the same method like what u did in the past, then so be it. i guess u have been going on for long and yet said nothing, until i found it out myself. but y do i feel the same like in the past? but actually not the same? why am i shedding tears? oh ya, felt hatred maybe. i hate the fact that i have to find things and see things with my own naked eyes. never mind. guess this should be the last time i will shed tears. because i will start to hate u after my tears stop flowing. i will become a cold blooded human. maybe thats what i should have be from the start.

2009-01-11T22:50:00.000-08:00

just read some NOT SO FAMOUS blogger blog. a "SHE" for ur guys information.

just find it stupid lah. she pick on some famous people, like dawn yang, i nothing to say. but she go picked on some normal girl too. ok, shall not say who she is. in case she sue my or something. i am scare ok. lol

anyway, she made it sound like she is so perfect in doing everything. had her *******, but doesnt make any different. LOL. she is not better than average for me.

ya, u can pick on people, so can i. so dont come telling me i am not any better or whatever shit. i dont give a damn on u.

just find it weird why picked on people who is not against u, or purely just a normal girl. although some people do hate her.

so if any other people is picking on u, dont blame others. because u are also picking on other people. or dont even say people are jealous of u. or in another way, people who support "her", dont come say i am, or some other people is jealous of her. i know she is rich. but so wad. -.-

anyway, saw people scolding here and there in other people tag board. quite stupid and childish. say people slut, copy this and that. i just find all these people nothing better to do-.- maybe they find this entertaining in their life, because they cant find any better or fun or interesting things to do. what ever.

this few days read alot of blog. some made me angry for nothing although doesnt concern me. LOL

think shall end here. LOL

i miss u. hope u miss me toooOOOOOOO (:

2009-01-09T12:00:00.000-08:00

didnt go school today. never go school, but got so a lot of things to do.

nothing much to update for now as the day is still early. shall update later in the night=)

loves
jun

2009-01-06T01:22:00.000-08:00

so long didnt update this dead blog of mine. haha

anyway, have been living well all this while. school started, and projects are all going to have presentation. will be busy throughout a few months. so dont think i will update so often already. anyway, i didnt update this blog so often. haha

nothing special today, except alot of things for me to do, because absent from school. didnt know what to do too. just got to do whatever i can now. wish me luck. haha

oh ya, belated wishing to everyone, merry christmas and happy new year. haha

its rather very very late to wish now. haha.

have been reading alot of relationship things, i felt sad for some of the people who fall out of love. hope u guys will recover soon. and those who are in relationship, treasure whoever u are with now.

because, once u lost the one u love, u will never get them back. so treasure them now.

the memories u left for me
will be the best gift i ever had
i wont shed a tears like what i told u
no matter how hard the coming journey will be
i'll move on like what u did
& live life well like u told me to
& live happily like what u always said
because to u and me
everything is over

sometimes, i still cant stop my tears from rolling when i think of those memories. afterall, everything started because of me. sorry

2008-12-22T01:30:00.000-08:00

i just asked one simple question, yet i got so many answer. now i know why.

maybe because i did so much bad things, that why bad things befall on me. maybe i owe everyone too much in my previous life.

the only one that is left there for me is just the black shadow of mine. no one else.

2008-12-19T01:45:00.000-08:00

afterall, i am a still a bad girl who goes around hurting people feelings right?

i am so disappointed to myself.

i am a big bad girl who doesnt deserve anything such as LOVE.

2008-12-18T03:20:00.000-08:00

夜里传来雨的声音
轻轻拨动心的旋律
情不自禁想到你
那些甜蜜的回忆
总是不小心就淋湿了我的眼睛
爱情需要一些呼吸
偶尔保持一点距离
回到朋友的关系
任你自由的来去
从此想念你只能放在我心里
你还爱我吗
一直好想问你这句话
却又怕
听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗
为何你总是不说话
眼看我为爱不爱挣扎
你爱我吗
好久没有你的消息
心里还惦记着你
在这冷冷的夜里
感觉那么的熟悉
好想再见你想听听你的声音
感情的路总让人好无助
我会学着面对独处
给深爱的你祝福
你还爱我吗
一直好想问你这句话
却又怕
听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗
这是我唯一的牵挂
不管你会有什么回答
我会一直等你
你还爱我吗

2008-12-08T01:20:00.000-08:00

the things i do is best for everyone. isnt it?

loves
jun

2008-12-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

today school was alright. went to school to do assignment, and guess what? today got to hand in exercise 1-6. so i pluck in my thumbdrive, and open the file. to my horror, i only got exercise from 3-6. 1 and 2 just went missing. i was so panic loh. so i went around asking my friend if any of them has my file save inside their thumbdrive. but ended up no one has my file with them. poor me, got to re-do everything. so troublesome. guess i didnt save properly into the thumbdrive when i was doing it at home. but never mind. i already finish it already. hehe

then one after another keep come ask me why i so long never go school. then my reply was "i am sick". then one after another keep asking. so i was already quite pissed off for repeating myself. then when class ended, one of my guy classmate came to ask me, "lijun, why u sick? what sickness u have?" i was already pissed off, so i kept quiet for a minute, then i replies, "then i ask u, why were u born a guy?" hehe. i think i am so damn fierce lah. then all the guy around me was like, "eh, lijun, relax ok? dont so angry." then i just kept quiet and went off. hehe

then they want to buy file to file the presentation board thing. so we went to the book shop, but the file was expensive. so we didnt buy. but they were like wasting time over there, stand inside the bookshop chit chat, dont want buy but still stand there. then i was abit pissed off, cause i was suppose to meet my younger sis at yio chu kang mrt station, and it was already late. so i just hack care. i just went off without telling any of them.

then we went to ang mo kio instead of bugis. cause i was like thinking if i were to go to bugis at that time, there will be alot of people in the train. so decided to look for my stuff at ang mo kio. luckily i found it in ang mo kio.

then accompany my two sis go walk around in ang mo kio hub to see if there is any clothes for them for my cousin wedding. but was like walking for less then 1hour, then we headed home.

then now at home rushing my presentation thing. dont think i am sleeping tonight. got to do now.

loves
jun

2008-12-01T00:15:00.000-08:00

since i let it go once, think i should be letting it go a second time right?

im so tired already. think going to finish my thing den go sleep already.

loves
jun

2008-11-28T12:45:00.000-08:00

having high fever yesterday. went to the doctor to get medicine and MC. i got to eat so many medicine. poor me. didnt went to school today. i missed so much lesson. dont know why my body so weak nowadays.

some snap shot of my medicine below.

medicine for fever, phlegm, and running nose.

and lastly, my cough syrup.

poor me have to take all this medicine. now my tummy is full of medicine. I WANT TO GET WELL SOON. because i dont like the feeling of being sick.

its not that i dont want to go to school. but if i am sick and unable to go to school, how am i suppose to go right? if i got a choice, i wouldnt want to be sick also.. :(

going out later to get today MC. yesterday only ask for one day MC from the doctor. the doctor is damn funny actually. he is a indian. the way he talk is so gentle. i told him i am sick, and what kind of illness i am suffering from. instead of telling me what to avoid eating and so on, he repeated what i said to him back to me.

am i going to spend my weekends at home? i dont want. miracles please come. hopefully i can be fully recover tomorrow when i wake up, hopefully i can jump here and there. hopefully i can breadth air through my nose, hopefully my throat will be cleared for more food. muahaha.

I KNOW I AM THINKING TOO MUCH. lol

was so funny last night. i entertain someone in the darkness. bought her laughter in the living room. hopefully her grandmother didnt scold her in the middle of the night because of her laughter.

i simply just hate spammer. if you dont like someone, no matter whether that person is a guy or a girl, just dont go his/her blog to tag like no body business. why care so much about other people's life? what does all those spamming means? the more you tag, the more you show that you are concern about his/her life, and actually care about what he/she does. am i right? please get a life and stop spamming other people's blog. it wont do you any goods. critisizing and discriminate other people in their blog doesnt make you any famous. you are just throwing your face away. hate him/her, just pray hard you dont see him/her in the middle of the street. do you know when you tag at someone blog, there is something call IP address? if the person is good enough, he/she wont make matter big, and let you have a good life. but if you continue on your silly acts, a police report will make your life to become from good to bad. get what i mean? IP address can be track down, you will be sue, and what's more? you are spoiling your own reputation. so please think before you act. understand? spammer are not being entertain. you got your life, people got their life. dont interfer into other people's life when he/she never step/interfer into you life.

guess i shall blog till here. shall update again either later in the night or some other days. :)

loves
jun

2008-11-23T03:20:00.000-08:00

rotting at home on a Saturday. its so not me. LOL.

actually, i got no choice, cause i have to rush my school work. having presentation on Monday. wish me good luck. LOL

piano exam is approaching. 4 more days. i am nervous although its not the first time i do this exam. but if failed, i will be disappointed. i do hope i will pass. because i can choose whether i want to teach or not. muahaha. but of cause, i wont be teaching unless i got my diploma:)

later going to my cousin house at 12pm for her wedding thing. which is like 9more hours. but here i am, still blogging. promised someone i will rest early, but i am still online. SORRY!!!

was a little "EMO" awhile ago, but i am alright right now.

read the newspaper just now and saw a happening "gangster" event happening at ang mo kio central. its just so happening. sort of like "PIA ZUI" in ang mo kio. and around 20 people running here and there, and they are armed with knife. unlucky 4 kena the knife. one got chop on the nose, one on the forehead, one on both arm and leg. someone slipper spoilt when running here and there. lol. and lastly, most of them are youngster. including girl in this event. so happening right. in the end, police came, those injured were send to hospital, some got brought back for further investigation. what's in their mind when they were taking the knife.

seriously speaking, i wish i got nothing to do for the wedding, because i dont even feel like going. i am forced by my mother to go. duh.

tomorrow is going to be fun. cause maybe going shop awhile before meeting my senior for serious stuff. think i am going to buy plenty of thing. but i got to save money, going broke soon:(

I WISH I GOT A SUGAR DADDY!!!! LOL. just kidding. haha

i am seriously bored right now. wish someone could entertain me. but most of them are in their dream land except for me. poor me.

ATTENTION!!! ANYONE WHO ENTERTAIN ME WILL GET SOMETHING FROM ME!!! YOU WANT IT?? THEN PLEASE ENTERTAIN ME:)

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU WILL GET IS IT??OK, I WILL TELL YOU. IF YOU ENTERTAIN ME, YOU WILL GET AN REPLY FROM ME. NICE OF ME RIGHT???HAHAHAHA

sorry, i am too bored. lol. think shall update till here.

loves
jun

2008-11-19T15:45:00.000-08:00

this is my blog, i got my own say. dont like it just close this window.

girls now are getting from back to worse. unreasonable and blah blah blah. not going to name anyone here.

just a small problem lead to so much problem and tried to scare me off with "LAWYER LETTER". oh well, just send it out. i will be waiting to see who is the "LOSER". i am thinking now whether my language is so hard to understand. some people just dont understand.

firstly, trying to be rude to me first, and still dare to say i am rude to her first. people who know me knows i wont be rude to people if people are polite to me. but some small girl said "fucking slut" to me and still dare to say i am rude to her first. never mind.

secondly, she come tell me her theory. dont know what shit it is. you got your own theory, i got my own theory. you dont like my theory, just fuck off. understand? FUCK OFF.

thirdly, what you and your boyfriend promise each other, i dont know anything. your boyfriend is my friend. i got my own rights to talk to me friends. if your boyfriend promise you "something", he should have tell me instead of still chatting with me. so when i dont even know anything, its not my fault. i admit i chat with your boyfriend first, but since he promise you, why he still reply me? get this right. you are now trying to find trouble with me just because i chat with your boyfriend. in another words, you are making problem bigger. understand?

fourth, my friend called you back is because he heard what you said. and he is unhappy with what you say. you want me to apologise to you. i tell you, fucking hell NO. if you were to apologise to me first, i will apologise to you. in fact, all this trouble is created by you, because you were unhappy that your boyfriend chat with another girl. am i right to say this. i got the whole chat that you and me said in msn. i told you the fact, but you say i am denying everything. oh well, then i shall post everything up here and let people judge it by themselves. oh wait, the first phone call i received from you on monday, i ask you to the phone, then blah blah blah, and you scold me fucker. oh well, we shall see who is the real LOSER now.

fifth, my friend want to apologise to YOU on my behalf is on his own willingness, i never asked him to do that. which means, i never want to apologise to you. you say it is unfair to you, well, its unfair to me too.you are always mixing up what you say. anyway, your boyfriend wrote me a friendster comment, saying something. oh well, i save it up too. if anyth were to happened, dont blame me ok. i know you father very RICH. can file a lawyer letter anytime. so be it. just go on send it to me. i will send one to you too as soon as i received yours.

lastly, i already said it on monday that if you want your boyfriend to stop contacting me, want to delete everything, go ahead. like i said, i wont delete anything.you will do it. but what happened? you dont seem to like my that sentence, thats why you keep creating all this trouble. and keep calling me. what ever it is, its no use saying it now. your boyfriend dont contact me, i wont contact your boyfriend. simple. get it?

oh ya, i forgot. you say you never say my father?well, i got the evident. everything i say is base on evident. you want it? i have it.

and to that person i message you, i mean what i say. we are finish. you will be erase from my memory. take care.

thats the conversation below. you people judge it.

see in the second chat? i did say ok lo. what ever. small kid wont understand it anyway.

(9:45 AM) <3> RainBow	so ya dun any how talk to me ar
(9:45 AM) <3> RainBow	just be carefull
(9:45 AM)♥♡L\|jun❤ღ 417 d:	fren oso cannot talk arh
(9:45 AM) <3> RainBow	cant
(9:46 AM) <3> RainBow	hmss
(9:46 AM) <3> RainBow	sorry wor
(9:46 AM) <3> RainBow	but i talk then
(9:46 AM) <3> RainBow	if its me i let u know..
(9:46 AM) <3> RainBow	but try dun talk to me till i talk to u ?
(9:46 AM)♥♡L\|jun❤ღ 417 d:	wa
(9:46 AM)	RainBow (R) <3>
(9:46 AM)♥♡L\|jun❤ღ 417 d:	ok loh

so see what i mean. if you people want to know more, can ask me. cause it is already like "over". i am just saying what i want to say here, not creating any TROUBLE for your information.

by the way, heard that wenhao is getting better. did not visit him for the past few days. hope he recover real soon.:)

thats all i have to say. bye.

loves
jun`

2008-11-14T03:10:00.000-08:00

shall do abit of update for now.

wanted to go down to visit wenhao today, but the visiting time is only until 8pm. so shall go down tomorrow straight after school.

wenhao is always a safe riding who doesnt go fast. so this particular day, he was riding down the road. he was going straight, but who knows the lorry(heavy vehicle) opposite who are waiting to turn right suddenly turn right and bang onto wenhao,causing him to suffer so much right now. his right knee cap and ankle bone all shattered, making him have to insert metal into his right leg in order to support himself.

he is suffering from all this pain now, and have to get his eyes stitch. ok, i am fucking angry with that stupid driver. malay somemore.

i dont know is he unlucky or what. but never mind.

a new lesson to be learnt. assuring your own safety is not enough. have to look out for other road user too, in case the same thing happen again.

hope wenhao will recover soon:)

shall post till here. update again.

2008-11-12T23:30:00.000-08:00

i like to walk under the rain, because no one will know i am crying.

2008-11-09T03:00:00.000-08:00

hasnt been blogging for such a long time. alright, shall update a bit here.

school started, really busy with school work. lots and lots of work to do, project after project. really cant have any spare time for myself.

been busy with all these project, ended up didnt get enough sleep. resulting in falling sick and having serious headache. got to manage my time properly now.

end of year project is here. big project. i am stress.

today my youngest sister say i looked liked a Japanese girl. i was like -.- where in the hell do i looked like a Japanese girl. never mind.

today was at home all day long, except when i went to popular to get my thing. other than that, i spend my whole day at home. do my assignment and all. although boring, but still got to finish every. poor me.

its so so late right now. 2.30am, but i am still awake. since i am still awake, i shall do some of my assignment later before i go to sleep. alright, enough for today.

shall update another time.

loves
jun

2008-10-09T16:50:00.000-07:00

TOTALLY MOODLESS RIGHT NOW!! i am losing him bits by bits. I FUCKING FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF NOW.

2008-09-24T13:00:00.000-07:00

haha. never go work today, because i feel pain whenever i walk, cant let my leg be straight. my mum didnt know this at all. but because i never go work today, so i tell her i cant walk. then she saw my wound, she attend to my wound. straight after that,due to the pain on my knee, i fell asleep. below are some photo i took after it was wrap up. not going to upload the injured photo, later someone might mistook it for another thing again. LOL

my knee!!

my knee again!my engagement ring. LOLlastly, my shoulder.

had a scary nightmare just now. its so scary. i dream that he broke off with me, because i dont know is his mother or him himself commited suscide. he left me a message, with his crying photo on it, saying sorry,because too stress or whatever it is, thats why he choose to broke up with me, wishing that i will find myself a better guy. i cried in my sleep, and when i jumped up from this nightmare, i found myself crying non-stop. i dont want anyone to commit suscide. i dont want anyone to leave me, especially those that are close to me. thinking about the dream that i had now, i still got the fear in me. i wish i didnt had that dream. its just so scary.

back to talk about my working life. last week, had from one of the stuff that one or e weird girl sitting next to me, told someone that one of our stuff like her. LOL. seriously i couldnt stop myself from laughing after i heard that.

i thought that guy was married in the first time i saw him, but my collegue said that he is still a bachelor. the three of us was sitting around and talking about this matter, and found ourselves couldnt stop laughing. its just so funny.

then we imagine that they were holding hand and blahblahblah, and we started laughing again. the whole office is full of our laughter. the yesterday, SOMEONE wanted to ask that girl, "eh, u go tell people patrick like u arh?". for your information, patrick is the guy that i was talking about earlier on. so bad of that person right. but that person is not me. lol

then yesterday, i sort of had a small tiff with e sttitude girl, my so call supervisor. ya, i admit that i got some cases that were left undone. but those cases that was left undone is because she didnt teach me how to do at all. and there she is, coming to my seat and show me some of her attitude. yesterday i was in a foul mood, and she gave me attitude. so i gave her back my attitude.

i was sitting there, doing one whole piles of billing stuff, near to 100 cases, she came to my desk, snatch my computer mouse from me, and show me the cases that i didnt do. and she said this, " you know you got alot of cases that you have not done? what are u waiting for?" i was like pissed off with what she say, and the tone she said. so i said back, "because i am doing this!!" then i pointed my finger to the whole pile of billing document. then she was like left with nothing to say, she just asked me to faster finish what i am supposed to do. and she went back to her seat.

after sometime, my friend asked me is it she come over here find me again. i said no and asked why. then she told me, "i dont know lei,just now i saw her, her face so red, her eyes there also very red." then i was like "huh? dont tell me she went to cry." i dont know what the hell she was doing, but whatever.

i hate her. i swear even if i am to go back, i am not going to be under her anymore.-.-

few more week before school start again. those who are resposible for collecting the money, please collect as soon as possible. trying to plan it on the week before school start. thank :)

*blink**blink*

kiss me:)i love you

going to rest my finger now. update again:)

loves
jun`

2008-09-18T17:00:00.000-07:00

haha. i promise ling that i will blog on saturday. guess what? its thursday now and i still haven update my blog. haha. sorry to make u wait ling.

actually, wanted to update this dead blog, but i am too lazy to do so.

anyway, i am supposed to be at work right now. but i am sick, so stayed at home. 20mins ago, my nose bleed. i hate it. i need to drink plenty of water now. -.-

too much th happened already, and i forgot what thing happened on which day. so will just randomly talk about some stuff here.

met up with ling and her friend alicia last thursady after i work. accompany ling to buy her books, then went to find alicia. had shushi and popia for dinner. i tell you, i am seriously damn damn full after finishing eating the popia. (laosai the following day-.-)

then we walked around, three of us walked from takashimaya to HMV, then to burger king located at lucky plaza. i think so. haha. then ling and alicia started cam whoring, not soon after, i am in it too. was taking photo half way and alicia or ling notice that there are like 3 guys looking down at us. but we just hack care and continued.

used alicia phone and ling phone to take the photo. after cam whoring for quite sometime, we decided that it is time to go home, so we walked to the mrt station. on the way there, ling looked at the photo we took. guess wad? we actually took 188 photos. amazing!! we sat there for not more then 1hour, and we actually took 188 photos. alot of craps and silly photo.

candid shot by alicia

the crazy us

i spoil this photo. LOLfinally one decent one :)see, hear and speak no evil ;)

CRAZY SHOT:)

now for the most interesting one. think ling took photo until so high that she did this to me. haha. looked at the photo below. haha. dont kill me ling =D

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alicia is shocked that ling is trying to kiss my breast. LOL!!!

anyway, never failed to have so much fun with my girl. lol

back to my working life.

i should say, i am under one girl at work, and are helping her with her work. she got attitude, and will have pms anytime at any day.

helped her out with her work this particular day, then the following day, i saw one note on my table. she scolded me. ASS!!!!

anyway, i scold her ass, not via versa. she didnt teach me to do that particular thing, and in the note she asked me why i never do what she taught me and she asked me to redo the whole thing and get it done before she come to work at 10pm.

was damn angry with here, was thinking to stop working already. cant stand the way she is man. -.-

anyway, the 2 weird girls didnt do much thing now already. peace to me :)

but the girl who sing to herself, got from bad to worse. she laugh more to herself, and sing even louder then before. she sang out loud yesterday during work.

imagine i blast my music to the loudest, and yet i can still hear her sing. my poor ear :(

i still got to endure till 10 oct 08. still a long way to go. someone please save me.....

she didnt talk much, and when she asked or talk to me about someth, she is always so soft. but yesterday, someone called her handphone asking her something. when she picked up the call, she said HELLO so loud that i think the whole company could hear her. then along the conversation, i only heard her say oh, ya ya, oh ya ya, and then bye.

then, i was so bad that i went to imitate the way she talked on phone. so mean of me. haha

think i shall update till here. tired already. update another time.

loves
jun`

2008-09-04T23:30:00.000-07:00

wanted to update last night, but was too tired, so i went to sleep. shall update now.

3September2008

yesterday was very tired. but i didnt dozed off during work. amazing right. haha

it was a funny day and weird day. the gal wearing spec was asked to change place with my friend. then she was like a bit pissed off with the arrangement. then she asked why have to change place? the way she talk irritated me. so i just ignored her.

after lunch, i continue with my work. then she keep looking at me, like as if she wanted to say something. but again, i ignored her. then she suddenly called me.

then she suddenly say. " lijun, i really dont wish my hair to curl up!!"

then i was like huh?!! then i entertain her, and i said "if you got follow the steps, apply cream or whatever, it should be ok. then she reply, "i got, i apply everyday."

then i reply ok, then turn back to face my computer. she seem like want to say some more, but after seeing my reaction, she didnt say much anymore.

then, she asked my friend. "you think i pretty?" ok, i didnt know much about he conversation because i wasnt there. my friend told me that.

then she ask "guys will likely to choose girls that wear nice and sexy rather then those that wear ugly right?" i was like what the hell!!!

then, i forgot what she say when i was sitting there. i couldnt stand it, so i kept laughing. finally i cannot take it, i went to the toilet and continue laughing. haha. i know this is mean. haha.

then she say, "some girl are ugly and no guys want them." then my friend was like, erm, ok.

then that girl ask my friend, "you know who is that ugly girl?" then my friend ask her "who?"

and she replied, "ME LOH."

its so hilarious. i just cannot stop laughing.

after laughing, she stopped talking anymore, and PEACE to me for the whole day. :)

as usual, the girl beside me continue to mumble to herself. shall get used to it someday. haha

then went to meet my baby. we ate one chicken for our dinner, i was full, and he say he was not full. i keep disturbing him, until he cannot take it. haha.

then at 10.30pm, i went to his room and lie on his bed. not long after that, i fell asleep. but i didnt sleep for long. he woke me up at 11pm, then send me home. i miss him even when i got home. didnt want to go home actually. haha

TODAY!!

today, i should say, its the most funny day. haha. its just so so funny. you will know it later.

went to work quite early today. reached at around 8am. then was slacking around in the office. didnt have any stuff on hand, so just sat there and did nothing, until shirley came to give me my assignment.

she asked me to help the girl beside me once i finished my assignment she gave because that girl is doing the same thing as me.

but soon it was lunch time, so went for lunch break. after i came back, that girl beside me ask me if i have finish printing my thing because shirley too ask her to help me if i finish.

first time she talk so much to me. then, i was quite pissed off with her because, first thing, she dont know how to use the photocopy machine, secondly, she doesnt even know how to send document inside computer to be print.

i taught her, but she seem to be so blur, blur until i feel like banging my head on to the wall. the way she talk, i wont understand, and will never understand. she talk like one piece one piece, no meaning to what she was saying. so i try to understand as hard as i can.

then i was printing my policy document, she suddenly ask me, "why are you printing policy document?" i was like, huh?!! why cant i print my thing? then i say, "cause i needed it." then she replied, "huh?ohhhhhhh.okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk." she talk weirdly. so dont ask me why so many h and k in the sentence. haha

then she was doing another thing after that, then, she suddenly SOL( SING OUT LOUD). so funny. she was singing one song, and it goes like this, "you had a bad dayyyyy, #$%^&^%$%^&*^......" sorry, but i dont know how to type out the way she sing. its so so funny.

then she was chopping the date on document. then my collegue came over and ask me where she was when she went to the toilet. but i say i dont know.

then my colleague said, "she chopped so loudly, i from another side also can hear. not only me, but the others over there was wondering why she chopping so loudly." then we both started laughing. then i told her she was singing just now, and she told me.

last time she sit at another side, she also sing. then the colleague from the other side could hear what she sing, so they asked her to lower down her volumn. haha. i was imaginating it when she told me. haha.

then after we laugh, my colleague when back to her seat. on her way back, the girl sitting beside me came back. then my colleague told her not to chop so loud because it was disturbing and blah blah blah.

then the girl beside me came back, she sat down, and she keep laughing to herself. oh my!!!! it isnt the normal laughter, but its much more hilarious than that. i couldnt help but laugh at her laughter. haha

the the other girl ask my friend whether her eye brown is wierd. then she say when she was having her lunch, got a guy keep looking at her. i was like ....-.- nothing to say. haha. what is she implying anyway, wondering. haha

then she told me she like my character. i was like, erm, ok. then she said. "because you are realyl really very kind, thats why i like your character. its lame. haha

went for piano lesson after work. the path way towards my teacher house was dark and lots of bangala. then, some one whistle to me. think should be a bangala. but i ignored and make my way to my teacher house.

after lesson, was back the same way, its still the same, but now with a bit more people, including vietnamese police who are training over there. when i walk pass, i could tell that alot of eyes is on my body. so i walked as fast as i could to the bus stop, not turning back. its so scary.

waited for the stupid bus for so long. started waiting at 9.30pm. bus came at around 10pm. wasiting so much of my time over there. reached home at around 10.30pm.

heard that tomorrow there will be a flu exercise held at my company there and media will be around. so i must wear nicer tomorrow in case the media interview me. HA HA HA HA. just kidding. haha. wonder why was it held there. haha. tomorrow i will know. :)

shall update till here.

dear, i miss you alot. and i love you. dont so silly say sorry to me for nothing already. and you promise me before. dont forget. love you. muacks

loves
jun`

2008-09-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

back there working. first day of work is so tiring. still not use to it yet. i must say, there are alot of weird people over there.

1st September 2008

reached there at 8.30am. do all those registration stuff, and i was back to the same place.

sitting in between of 2 people, and i must say, this two people are weird one. they suddenly say or do weird stuff that scare the daylight out of me.

for example,

i was sitting there doing my thing half way, then this gal who are wearing spec suddenly ask me, eh, you think my this shoes suit me? then i was like, huh?!! erm, not bad. then her reply was, oh, okok. then she turn back and continue with her stuff. after lunch, i was concentrating on working, then she suddenly ask me, you think my hair curly? cause shoulder length, and i just reborn my hair not long. i was like blur, because she just pop out think question so sudden. den i reply her, er, ok loh, if u know how to take care properly, then should be ok. then her reply was, oh, okok. then i turn back to my place and continue doing my thing. then she suddenly asked me, my friend is going to quit next week, if she quit, can i join you and your friend for lunch? i looked at her and answer back, erm, think ok. then she turn back and do her work. dont know why she is so weird.

then the other gal, she mumble to herself, sing to herself, and laugh and smile to herself. kind of weird of her. then i was doing work half way, she turn and looked at me for a few minutes, then smile to me. its so so weird.

both of them are so weird. i dont know what will happened to me after working there. its so so scary.

TODAY

didnt get a good sleep last night. so today was tired during work. for the first 1hour plus, i wasnt doing anything because i didnt have my stuff code and i got to wait for my supervisor to come before i can start working. so was sitting there, eyes getting heavier and heavier, so i closed my eyes and rest.

then, after around 2hour, i finally got my code, and i started working. then this gal wearing spec started asking me question again out of a sudden. i just like entertain her for like a few seconds.

then lunch time, ate malay food, $4 with two vegies and one fish. its expensive right. never going to eat it again.

then went back to work, the girl wearing spec suddenly tell me. "my friend will be quitting end of this week. so next week i join you and your friend for lunch ok?" i was like -.- oh. then she asked, "you dont mind right?" then i said, erm, ya. then she happily smile to me and went back to work.

but seriously, i know this is bad, but i am still going to say it. i dont want to have lunch with her. we got like nothing to talk about, and we dont really know each other. so it is kind of weird. i dont want it.

den the girl sitting on my right offer my sweet. nice of her, but the sweet is like so sticky, so i rejected her. she asked me like i was a few seats away. her voice is so so loud. then, she started mumble to herself, and she suddenly say, what the fuck, fuck your father etc. i was shocked. but seconds later, she laugh to herself. it is kind of scary. then she looked at me, the way she looked at me, is so scary. i dont even dare to look at her straight in the eyes. will only use my side view to look at her.

couldnt stay awake during work. keep dozing off. headache. den the girl wearing spec suddenly ask me, do you have facebook? i was like, erm, dont have. i was really tired, dont have the mood to talk to her, so i turn back to my seats. then i dozed off, but could hear what she say. she say to me, "i give you my number ok?" but i was really tired, so i didnt reply her. think she thought i didnt want to talk to her, so even if she looked at me, she would use her side view, and she didnt say a word to me after that. i feel so so bad. haha

finally after work. my leg hurt so much. my nail bleed in the morning because i wore the high heel i never wore before. its hurting. so met with my 2sister and went home together. got off the bus, but my leg is hurting too much, so i changed shoes with my sister. my toes is really hurting right now.

i know this is disgusting.

my bleeding toe

someone say my toe looked like a minimized COCK!!! dont so dirty ok? LOL

sorry if the two picture disgust you. hahahaha. anyway, got to go do my thing already. dear, i love you.

loves
jun`

2008-09-01T01:30:00.000-07:00

haha.just bathe out.decided to blog before i sleep.

woke up at 10.30am. took my clothes and went to bathe. was rather cold this morning. after bathing, make up and prepared, and out i went to my bf house.

i must say singaporean are really kia su. i was like waiting for train at the platform, and this auntie just cut infront of me, and was standing near to the yellow line. how i wish she just drop down to the track. just kidding. haha. then, the train arrived. was behind this auntie, waiting for passenger to alight before going in. when finally all has alighted, i started walking in. guess what?? everyone behind me started to dash in, pushing me from the front to the back. and when i knew it, the train down is going to close, with e alert "doors are closing".

i am angry at that time. so when i walked in, i looked at everyone. i didnt care about how they felt, i just push my way to the opposite door and stood there. i know there are many eyes looking at me. but i just keep the attention to myself.

its quite a long journey to bukit batok, so i took out my psp and started playing. when i knew, it was already at yishun. then this family of four came up. i must say, all of them are triple of my size. after that i continue to play my psp, ignoring them.

1minute later, i felt something near my face. i looked up, and guessed wad? A BIG FAT FLABBY ARM IS JUST BESIDE MY FACE, LESS THEN 1CM AWAY FROM MY FACE!! i was like, what the hell is this. but i didnt want to be rude and asked that lady to move away, i shifted myself and ACCIDENTALLY knock onto her tummy. i didnt do it on purpose. but i am glad i did that because after that, she moved herself to another side. i felt a sudden fresh air on my face. LOL

reached dear house at 12pm, as usual, i pulled his curtain and wake him up. he said he was too tired because he reached home late last night, so he was back to his sleep after he open the door for me. i was like lonely over there, so i lie beside him and almost fell asleep. 1hour later, he woke up, bathe and wash up. then started playing psp and all. he never stop disturbing me. after tat, both of us lie down and rest.

then suddenly, he ask me to turn to another side, and he held my hand. and place something on my forth finger. i turned back and peep. oh my god, its a ring!! then, he told me. "i dont have money to buy real ring for you, so i made this and give you." i was so so touched by what he did, said thank you to him and gave him a kiss on his cheek. i was really very happy. plus, he gave me one cute key chain for my psp.

today was quite fun, i stayed alone at his house!! because he got to go to yishun and pray, and i didnt want to go home so early, so i stayed at his house alone. his mother and brother was out too. i am a little excited, and a little scare.

after he left, i let my imagination run wild a little. because the room door was closed, i imagine myself lying on his bed, and suddenly someone knock on the door and ask me open the door. it was quite stupid of me. after awhile, play psp awhile, and i knocked out.

was sleeping so soundly, when someone pull open the curtain and called out for me. i jumped up from my sleep. it was rather scary. i looked out and saw my bf, he asked me for key for the house. so i passed it to him, and i went back to sleep.

then he came in and started disturbing me again. so i disturbed him back, then we played psp. after that, out we went, back to ang mo kio for our dinner. order mee goreng for dinner, both of us order the same thing. then he started giving me all the onion in his bowl to me. i was like -.-... so i told him to throw it away if he doesnt want it, because i myself got alot in my bowl. so he threw it away. when i looked at the tray, there was like small mountain of onion and vegetable that he doesnt eat. he is so so wasting. haha

after dinner, he send me home, and we sat under the block, and he helped me complete my psp game. then, he send me home at around 12am. waited for him to be home. and prepared myself to sleep.

the ring he gave me

ring with three roses

the key chain he gave me

got to go to my sleep already. good night

loves
jun`

2008-08-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

this cute little child above is so so cute right? i want my baby to be so cute too. haha

so dear, you know what you should do right? from today onwards, we shall be cute together, although i know we are already so cute. muahaha. sorry everyone, i am just too bored at home. pardon me for my craziness.

did some stretching just now. i got to admit i am getting old already. hasnt been stretching for the past few months. its time for me to do something to maintain flexibility. was thinking together with my girl whether i should enroll ourselves in the dancing class near to somerset. but fees is ok with me. it isnt as expensive as i thought it is. considering right now.

i dont know how i am feeling now. i miss him so much right now, guess at this time, he should still be in his dreamland, wondering around. he is meeting his friends later, so which means i am not going to meet him today. think i shall rot at home again.

cant believe i am staying at home on a saturday. every saturday during this time, i should be laming with him at his house. but today is exceptional.

toss and turn last night on the bed, just cant get to sleep. i dont know what is bothering me. i just cant get myself to sleep. my panda eyes are coming out already. got to do something to stop it. slept at around 4plus in the morning. woke up at 10plus to release myself in the toilet. and get back to sleep again. little would i know, my youngest sis switch on the television so loud that i cant get back to sleep anymore. i am so tired, but cant get to sleep.

shall go for a run later. hopefully i can get to sleep after a run.

loves
jun`

2008-08-30T00:40:00.000-07:00

i just cant stand it. so i am blogging it out.

some girls are just so ****. control their boyfriend so much that the guy doesnt even has his own freedom. its like, they are just so selfish!! not to mention any names here.

some dont even allow their own boyfriend to talk to other girls other than themselves. cant your boyfriend have their own girl friend?? he is already yours girl, you must have trust in him, let him go when he wants. not controlling him like this.

let me be a bad girl for this once. let me say this. if one day he were to leave you, dont blame him or other girls, blame it on yourself from controlling him that much.

some guys are willing to let you control them for all you want, buy bear it in mind that he has his own freedom. if you continue to control him like what you are doing now, he will be left with no friends.

WAKE UP WAKE UP!!! please dont continue your this mistake. let him have some of his freedom.

i wouldnt be too much over my boyfriend. he has his own circle of friends, no matter they are guys, girls, lesbian or even gay. they are still human, and everyone need friends.

if he want to go meet his friends, no matter they are guy, girl, lesbian or gay, i wouldnt ask much because i trust him. i trust him that he will know very well what he is doing. that is why i dont have to worry so much about him, and our relationship wont turn sour.

love is all about trust right? if you have no trust in your partner, then just end everything now. dont drag any longer because that will only hurt you and your partner more.

this apply to both man and women.

said everything i wanted to say already. feel much more better. got to go now :)

loves
jun`

2008-08-29T18:45:00.000-07:00

i am back to update. haha. didnt update for like about a month. just change my blogskin ;)

was busy study for exam, hope i can pass the two module. dont want to retake it anymore.

nothing much to update for today, because i am rotting at home right now. shall post up a few photos now.

He is so so HOT :)

That's us :D

Ling, hope nothing unhappy happened,so i wont post emo post. lol

loves
jun`

2008-07-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

finally i am getting my time to sit down to relax awhile. got to do my project later on. might stay up for the whole night.

i don't know what happened to me. i just feel so bitch. -.- fucking emo right now.

now i am on my own, guess i will be back to the old me. i will be keeping things to myself again. a promise were made by me to him. i will follow the promise i had made, will never break my promise.

so much things happened recently. friends pass away one by one, conflict in school, misunderstanding between friends, and problem in relationship. i am so stressed up right now. i feel like crying, but i am controlling my tears from falling.

i am trying to be strong like what he told me. i am trying my best to do what i can do. he said i shouldn't push all the blame to myself. was thinking about what he told me. and i wanted to ask him back. if i didn't exist, i wouldn't bring so much sadness right?

i am seriously moodless right now. things wasn't going my way.

told ling about my problem. now, i seriously keep thinking about him. one last time, and i am going to end everything. i can't give him anymore sadness.

upon hearing what has happened, i pity him to encounter that. told him i will pray hard for him until he find his true love.

finally the thing that i am fearful of finally came. i knew this day would come, that is why i got to put a full stop to everything.

thank for the time that you have spend with me.

right now, i really cannot stop my tears. i am sorry, i think i just cannot be as strong as i can.

i miss him badly right now.
i wish he were with me right now,
to lend me his shoulder to cry on.
but i guess it wont happened anymore,
because i am letting go of everything.
leaving him on his own,
although i didn't want to,
i have got no choice.
wish you all the best,
like what i did in the past to you.
i am sorry.

should i let go all of them? like that i won't be giving any of them anymore sadness. i haven been breaking their heart recently. i am feeling so bad. i know i have to do that because i have got no choice.

but what if you were the one in my shoes? what will you do? you will be like me, in a dilemma. you wont be able to make a choice. i know because i am facing all this right now. wait till the day you encounter this, you will finally know how i feel.

don't ask me to make a wise choice, because i am already trying my best to do what i can. because of these, i am so stressed up. you will never know how i feel until one day when you are facing it.

i will be on my own right now. you are hoping that i can be strong, and i know. but sorry, i cant.

i miss you

loves
jun`

who?

2008-06-16T11:30:00.000-07:00

thanks JO for your so NICE post. simply linking your own problem to mine problem. you so clever huh. -.-

now you are making my heart to waver. you always never failed to make me feel this way. now i am so confused because of you. at first i was sure who i really want, but now, you make me think of another thing. thanks.

haix. i dont know what happened to us anyway. jo, dont call him a bastard okay? i know what you will do, and i wont be so stupid to let you know what you want. spoke to LS about this problem, and he told me i got to make one choice eventually. love always make us gain and lose something. i got to be strong to face it.

oh my... what am i supposed to do? was feeling to go to bugis to buy bag, but was afraid that i might bump onto him somewhere. if can, i rather i just vanished into the air just like that.

now i need no shoulder to lean on, i can just cry my heart out in the bathroom. and jo, i dont need your shoulder. too weak already. just kidding.

oh god, now i am emo once again. it feels kind of weird without talking to him. now i am wondering. ling told me she feels that i am falling for him subconsciously. i fall in love with him without me knowing. do i? god damn, i dont know how i felt now. its so perplexing.

	never stop giving me problem. why does we have to be in ? is not as simple as i think it is. although only one word with 4 letters, this word is daring enough to make everyone of us be hurt once, and at the same time let us taste the sweetness if it. but why do people only learn how to cherish after losing? i am hoping that will be very simple, without hurting me again. because i have been hurt so many times, the wound in my heart is getting deeper and deeper. but i believe one day, some one will appear, to heal the wound in my heat. i am waiting for the day to come. is a moment that last forever.

never stop giving me problem.
why does we have to be in ?
is not as simple as i think it is.
although only one word with 4 letters,
this word is daring enough to make everyone of us be hurt once,
and at the same time let us taste the sweetness if it.
but why do people only learn how to cherish after losing?
i am hoping that will be very simple,
without hurting me again.
because i have been hurt so many times,
the wound in my heart is getting deeper and deeper.
but i believe one day,
some one will appear,
to heal the wound in my heat.
i am waiting for the day to come.
is a moment that last forever.

Jo, thank for this. i copy it from your blog. your emo-ing made me emo. thank alot arh.

you're always on my mind
all day just all the time
you're everything to me
brightest star to let me see
you touch me in my dreams
we kiss in every scene
i pray to be with you
through rain and shiny days
i'll love you till i die
deep as sea wide as sky
the beauty of our love paints rainbows everywhere we go
i need you all my life
you're my hope you're my pride
in your arms i find my heaven
in your eyes my sea and sky
may life be our love paradise

gonna go bathe already. still unsure whether i should buy bag later. shall think of that later. got to go. bye.

loves
jun`

heartbreaking

2008-05-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

lots of school work to complete now. kind of stress now.

got scolded for no reasons yesterday. i was like -.-. send my design to her, guess she never receive it. so she asked me to send her in msn. but i am like already sleeping in my bed, with my msn on. then, morning when i woke up, i looked at my msn. and she scold me like hell.-.- it got on my nerves man. wanted to scold her back, but i control myself. don't even use lecturer to scare me. I HATE IT!!!! grrrr

anyway, was supposed to meet up with my bf yesterday, cause he promise to accompany me to the library to search on my stuff. but who will know it will rain at his house there. so he said he wait for the rain to stop before coming to find me. i was like, hmmm, ok. i wait for you. then he say he go lie on his bed awhile.

so i waited, 1hour passed, 2hour passed, 4hours passed, and he is still in his sleep. 6 hours passed and he finally wake up. he was suppose to meet up with his friends at 8pm, but end up he did not turn up because he overslept. and i stupidly waited for him. never mind, its over now.

watch the charity show for SiChuan, shown on channel8 just now. its really heart breaking to see those innocent lives being taken away. then, came to one part, which made me cannot take it, my tears just started rolling down. its like this.

there was this guy being trapped under the fallen walls. he struggle to survive for 3days 3night, and he was waiting for people to save him out. when the rescues team came, he thanks them for coming. he got strong determination to survive, because his wife is still waiting for him. so the rescues team started their work, by shifting those fallen walls and bricks away from his body. while doing their job, some of them tried to contact his wife, who was at the tent. and they did it, his wife pick up the call. he asked his wife to be strong and continue her life, then he hang up the phone. it took the rescues team 6hours to carry him out. when they carry him out from there, he thanks them for saving him. then the rescues team quickly send him to the hospital. on the way to hospital, he suddenly stop breathing, everything stops. they tried to bring him back, but failed to do so. he managed to struggle for survival for 3 days 3 night, but failed to do so on the way to hospital. its so sad.

there are so many touching stories. teachers tried to save students, in the end, all died in this tragedy. mother tried to save her baby, but died while saving her child. uses her body to protect her child, leaving a notes in her phone, saying " if u manage to survive, always remember that mummy loves you". so many heart breaking stories. cant stop my tears from rolling down.

we are just to fortunate to be living in Singapore. please treasure your life, people in sichuan is fighting for their own life, so please treasure your life. do help them out if it is within your reach.

another earthquack near to sichuan, but luckily only one person died. but a lot were injured. everyone there were shocked by the shaking. hope no one dies anymore. will be praying hard for people in china.

shed tears when watch the charity show. until now, i am still thinking on the scene of that man. hope he and everyone else rest in peace.

tomorrow got to face her. don't feel like going to the lesson at all. seriously boring. seriously people in that batch are crazy in their mind? never mind.

nice song here.
http://www.songsiwrite.com/media.asp?id=songs-1511
等待耐心等待拥有更好的未来
忍耐默默忍耐你冷漠的对待
不晓得为什么胸口会阵阵痛起来
眼泪好无奈的落下来

想生命能变得更精彩
为了你我愿意排山倒海
你答应我要牵我的手
一起走进未来
为何现在学会放开才能更愉快？

等待耐心等待拥有更好的未来
忍耐默默忍耐你冷漠的对待
不晓得为什么胸口会阵阵痛起来
眼泪好无奈的落下来

心已感到万千感慨
没有你我宁愿停下脚步来
好好去了解这个命运
给予的安排
怎么后来学会放开才能更愉快？

问为何爱情那么残忍
曾经是爱人是情人
如今互不相认
难道说分手之后只剩下恨
我真的不明白
这样的伤痛竟然是爱

等待耐心等待拥有更好的未来
忍耐默默忍耐你冷漠的对待
不晓得为什么胸口会阵阵痛起来
眼泪不停地落下来

明白终于明白了也学会放得开
无奈始终无奈地接受了伤害
麻痹了破碎的心灵
感觉痛不存在
眼泪不再落下来

guess i update till here. update another day. =)

loves,
jun`

confused

2008-05-18T02:30:00.000-07:00

i am here to blog. can't get to sleep right now. all this confusing things are running around in my mind. i don't know what to do.

school work are stressful for me now. think i am going to break down soon.

the earthquack has took away plenty of life. this is so cruel. seeing all the scene that was took in the news, i couldn't control my tears from rolling down. this is just so sad to see. one after another. i hate all this natural disaster.

guys nowadays are crazy in their mind. when i like them, they treat me like shit. now that i got my lovely boyfriend, they came back to me, telling me that they had already broke up with their girlfriend. what actually am i to you guys? a trash? grrrr....

now another one enter my life. i don't know what to do. i asked him whether he likes or love me, he said he like me. ok, now i know what excately to him. after all that he has done, i finally know. things finally get clearer.

got kinda down after browsing and listening to some songs. and i am touch by what wl had said. i shed my tears after he said all those. i will cherish every moment with him. i won't let him down. thank for being part of my life.

heard some of the song compose by people from around the world i think, or just singapore? i am not sure about it. some songs are nice and touching, some songs are meaningful, but the singer just suck. haha

this is a nice song. should listen to it :)
http://www.songsiwrite.com/media.asp?id=songs-2336

一輩子好好的愛你作詞/作曲: 文

Verse 1
我心里只有一個你
沒人能夠代替你
只有你能夠抓住我的心

Verse 2
我好想抱你在懷里
整顆心都交給你
只有你占據我的心

Pre-Chorus
每個夜里我都想著你
對著漆黑的夜心在說
大聲說
我是多麼的愛你

Chorus
有誰能看見我想著你到淚流滿臉的表情
有誰聽見我的心在偷偷的哭泣
我只想有一天能夠和你永遠在一起
一輩子好好的愛你

i send this song to him, and this is what he said to me.
生命能变得更精彩? says:
do u know that 我是多麼的愛你
生命能变得更精彩? says:
i 一輩子好好的愛你
thank dear, i appreciate your love for me.

and to that particular him, i think its time for us to end right here. i don't want to fall any deeper already. i am scare i might hurt someone. so lets stop here. i am sorry.

think stop here for today. shall update again.:)

loves`
jun~

sad

2008-05-03T15:30:00.000-07:00

i am back to update this dead blog.

school starts long ago, and e first week we got to do so many stuffs already. poly life is not as easy as i/we thought it is. i couldn't get enough sleep since school starts.

going to rush my work again later. grrrrrr

ever since school starts, i didn't have much time with him. we got lesser time together already. because of this, he got angry with me sometimes. i am so sorry. but he still try to understand me. things went fine for me and him now, although i know sometime he was sad because he can't meet me.

thanks for understanding me. i appreciate the love that you gave me. love you lots.

dear is going to have dinner with his family later at Ang Mo Kio for mother's day. he asked me whether i want to tag along, but i reject it. it is kind of weird because i don't know any of his family member except for his mother and brother.

second time i rejected his offer. dear, so sorry. next time alright. love you.

today was someone birthday. told him i will meet him after i am done with my work. but guess what? when i asked him whether going out, he told me he was going out with his friends. ok, the cake that i bought for him, the time that i spend on choosing it has gone to a waste.

out of anger and sadness, i just threw the cake away. the cake now is waiting for ants to come and eat it in the dustbin. shit man.

i am totally moodless right now. i am seriously very sad. so dumb of me to go buy that cake for him. duh.

although he wasn't my loves one, but he is still my real close friends. just don't know what excately does he treat me as?

wanted to ask him just now, but forget it. think i am just a trash to him, maybe. who knows.

now i am here, waiting for the time to pass by fast. then, i will be going out till late night and be alone for the whole night. no one shall disturb me tonight.

i am waiting for his message now. i am still waiting, but 2 hours had already passed.

think i will update again some other time. mood swing now.

loves`
jun

sad

2008-03-24T23:45:00.000-07:00

He has gone to Taiwan already. He board the plane at 12.30pm, and his plane set off at 1pm.

i miss him so much. How i wish he is with me right now. Seriously miss him so much. He will only be back next Monday, at 11pm. My life is so boring without him.

I am seriously missing him so much now. So in love with him. it just felt so weird without receiving his message. Guess he should be enjoying himself there.

Since he is enjoying himself there with his friends, think i should enjoy myself here in Singapore too. Think will stay in my toilet to enjoy myself. haha. sorry, too crap. :)

HOW??? I MISS HIM SO MUCH NOW. Can't get to sleep without getting his message.

I am looking at his picture right now, and i miss him even more. Will treasure him now and forever, guess i can't be happy without him. He just made my life beautiful.

Dear, I LOVE YOU, hehe

Ate seoul garden with ling for dinner just now. I think i was really crap, she can't tahan?? lol. Then went to amk, and ling bomb some country. LOL

Finally my NYP program is going to end tomorrow, after my presentation. SO HAPPY. Can relax for a few weeks before school reopen.

Saw cai just now. He is so sweet with his gf. Think bees are going their way. LOL. Jiayou for SS3. Will support you one. Don't worry. :)

I think i am sick now, because i am having running nose. grrrr.

Oh god, i can't get to sleep right now. I am missing him so much, don't know how he is doing right now.

Shall go to lie on my bed and get to sleep now. Miss him.

jun`

2008-03-22T13:15:00.000-07:00

School is finally going to end on Tuesday, and i shall relax after that.

Monday is coming, and he is going to Taiwan on Monday afternoon. I am going to miss him like hell. If only i can go with him.....

Met him up yesterday, accompany him to buy some accessories for his psp. Was searching for a nice and cute one, and it took us to search for 2 hours, and finally we found it. A red little thingy. It was so damn cute.

Then went to slack and played his psp. Was so angry because i can't even win one race. So angry that i feel like throwing his psp on e floor. But i didn't do that. If i were to do that, i might end up in hospital now. Just kidding. :)

Tuesday didn't went home because had a quarrel with my dad on Monday night. Went to his house to slp, as well as do my presentation thing. It was so fun sleeping with him, was disturbing him the whole night. Think he didn't get enough sleep. haha.

Then, i rush my presentation thing, and manage to finish it, and the presentation went smoothly on Wednesday. Thank to me :)

Decided to buy a HP laptop on the roadshow. Cost around $2000, plus 4gb ram. Going to get it on 3rd April, with my friend. Anyway, i am so happy lah, my primary school friends are coming to the same school as me. Going to have a great fun together with them.

Going to find him later. Shall update later when i get back. BYE~

jun`

2008-03-12T23:50:00.000-07:00

Today finally finished my design project. WTH... Its so tough. But managed to finish everything together with my classmate. Shall get the model back after the presentation. Took some pictures, but its not with me.

Today ZA came to my school to " look for me ". He came to hand in his result slips. Hopefully we can become schoolmate. :)

JY and me accompany ZA to hand in his result as well as accompany him to lunch. Spend 1hour plus accompany him, then i didnt get back to my class. But JY went back first, and help the others finish up everything.

Our model was supposed to need a few days to finish it. But we managed to finish it within one day. Amazing right. haha.

Then i went back around 2pm, but when i got back, my bag was gone. So i went around looking for them, and saw them waiting for lift. The model was CUTE ok. lol

Yesterday went to his house to look for him, as well as do my assignment. Was supposed to be happy, but ended up i am quite upset.

He told me he will be going to holiday at Taiwan with his friends, from 24 March to 31 March. Its like the week after. Didnt wan him to go, but he say everything has been planned.

Guess he wont even know how i am feeling alright. Of course i will be upset, but he doesn't seem to know. My mood is not good at all.

Told ZA my problem, and he told me not to believe what he said. He did say other things, but i shall not mention it here. What he said made me really sad and i didn't know what to do.

Was chatting with him a moment ago, he say he was busy doing his assignment, so didn't have time to reply me. Oh well.

Really don't want him to go. Its like 1 weeks can't see him. How am i going to survive? Duh. Don't know what to do.

He has already made up his mind. Guess i should do the same, and tell him i am going for holiday in the last minute. Good idea right :)

I am stupid. Nevermind. Since it has already come to this stage, i also can't do anything. Just be good and stay here and wait for him to come back. Guess this is the only thing i can do.

I going to sleep now.

jun`

Confused

2008-03-07T01:30:00.000-08:00

Finally i am updating this dead blog of mine. Decided to blog in Chinese for one part, because it will be easier to express how i felt.

I got in to Nanyang Polytechnic through Direct Poly Admissio(DPA), in Industrial Design. School started earlier for those who was under DPA.

School started on 30th Jan 2008. First three days was sort of orientation, and the group of us was running around the whole school like an insane.

But overall, although it was tiring, it was so damn fun. My group came in the 3rd, and we got our goodies bag. haha

After the 3 days of "orientation", we got one week break, due to Chinese New Year. Then, we got back to school for our module/programs.

First lecture was on Tuesday, about electronic. Its quite fun soldering all the resistants and all, but the teacher was damn so boring. When we encounter problem, all he care is about the students who was under him, in electronic course(ECC). God bless to those who are going to be under him. :)

Second lecture was on Wednesday, about design. Damn funny lah. The lecturer didn't know that day we got his lesson, he thought it was the week after.

So obviously he wasn't prepared. We was supposed to end school at 3pm. Then some people told him that we are giving him extra time to prepared his lesson.

So, AFTERNOON CLASS WAS CANCELLED. haha. To make it sound nice, we say we are giving him more time, to make it sound evil, we say his lesson was boring. lol.

Third lecture was on Thursday, about communicating skill(CS) and business. The lecturer for CS was damn funny. Her name was Jerilee Leong. Her lesson was damn fun, plus she was damn funny. She is more like our friend then a lecturer.

I just LOVE her so much. *(I am not a les).

She told us alot about her past, what she did when she was young and so on. haha. How i wish she will be my lecturer for e rest of the 3 years. But its impossible.

After lunch, lecture was about business, about how to become an entrepreneur. It was damn crap. All about business and POA. I dun even understand a single bits. So, i just fell asleep half way through the lesson. Not onli me, there were some who did the same thing. Power right. haha

Fourth lecture was on Friday, a tutorial about entrepreneur. The whole thing was damn crap.

Almost fall when i enter the class room because there was a step just in front of the door. Luckily i did not trip and fall. But my unlucky friend just tripped and fell, and the whole class laugh at her because of the expression she gave when she stood up again.

The lecturer gave me a warning, saying that she doesn't want to see anyone is shorts or mini skirt, no slipper. Its the school rules. I was like damn???? Is there such school rules? Oh well, do i sound like i care? haha

Monday is my day off. No lecture for the whole day. But 4 lecture is enough to get my head big, because there is always project, project, and PROJECT. Oh well. haha. Ok, enough of my school stuff.

看了莫莫人的博客后，我的脑海里有一幅幅的画面。我到低低的是谁？在爱他的时候，他却有他深爱的人。我只能默默的爱着他。被爱是幸福的。爱人是痛苦的。我深深地感受到这两句话的意思。现在，我已有我深爱的人，在跟他在一起时，我从不觉得伤心。跟他在一起的每一天，我都非常的开心。可是，现在情况全变了。曾经不爱我的人，现在向我表白，说他爱我。现在的我，虽然深深的爱着我的男朋友，但是现在另外一个的出现，让我不知所措。现在的我，脑子里一片空白。心里明明爱着的是我的男朋友，可是因为“他“的出现，又不忍心看他伤心难过，我真的不知我该则么做。

How i hope someone can tell me what to do. Actually i know what to do, but because i don't want to let him hurt and sad, i don't know what to tell him.

One is e one i love now, the other is the one i love in the past. My heart is flickering. Everything is so perplexing.

Just spoken to one of my close friend and i asked him what i should do. All he said was " Everything is up to u. If you want your happiness, then you should be the cruel one, and hurt one of them. If not, you will be living in a miserable way. You know who you love in your heart. You can only help yourself, no one can help you because they don't know who is the one you love. Make the wise choice, don't be kind in this matter, and don't regret what you choose. "

I know in the end i will make a choice. I know this sound stupid, but no matter who i choose, i wish the other one happiness.

I have thought of it over and over again, and finally i came out with a decision. I am sorry to the other guys.

I'll be the one to tell everyone I'm gone
I've fallen in
To a place I can begin to understand.
I'm just happy you're here to hold my hand
All I want to do is stand close to you
Be by your side
All I want to do is make the world revolve
Around you and I
What I would give up
What I would go through
To get it right
And it's far too hard to see
What the future will be
Everywhere I go
Everywhere I go now you're with me
All I want to do in this lifetime is make you mine

I think my post is long enough. Shall get to sleep right now. Tomorrow still got lecture.

jun`

damn-.-

2007-11-22T21:10:00.000-08:00

started work on monday. its tiring alright, woke up early, start work at 830am and end work at 520pm. long hour right? but what to do, got to earn money. LOL

recently abit emo loh. so many things happened. one after another happened, dont know why all this happened within a short period of time. damn sad.

i know you for such a long time, for a few years, but this is what i get in returned. i treasure our relationship just like that, dont know what happened.

you just say you want us to be just friend. i like u as what you are. i know u dont feel good now or what happened to your father and ur girlfriend. but im not the one who cause all this right?

why do i have to take all your attitude? because im concern about you and dont like to see you in this state. then what did you do? give me all fucking attitude and use words to hurt me.

seriously, i agree with what your girlfriend siad. you only care about yourself and never care about how others felt. you are really selfish.

GUYS ARE JUST FUCKING HELL!!!!

what the hell. guys are all liar. i tried so hard to maintain our friendship, and you just wanted to end it. fuck man.

if you have a girlfriend, just tell me, dont have to hide anything from me and say you dont have a girlfriend. its just so obvious that you got a girlfriend. you know im referring to you alright. i dont want to name you out.

you are just full of craps man. tell me something to make me happy. moments later, u tell me the other way and hurt me. fucking hell man. i just dont understand why you GUYS like to lie so must. damn it.

my work is already giving me stress, and then you all just keep giving me all this nonsense.

one more thing, if you have someone you like and dont wish to contact me because you dont want the girl u like to misunderstan you, just let me know. dont have to avoid my questions, and say you were busy, and then change subject. fuck-.-

i trusted you so much, then now you want to get back things from me, im referring to $$$.grrrrr.

anyway, im talking about 4 person in my post. not one only. damn it. my life now is full of problem. im going crazy soon-.-

not getting enough sleep this week. panda eyes is getting out and getting more obvious. think i should get to slp soon, tomorrow still got to wake up early to go work. grrr

anyway, LS, all the best to you alright =D

go sleep le. -.-

jun`

sian

2007-11-03T02:15:00.000-07:00

updating tis blog now. bored from studying social studies, so decided to update my blog. dont think im going to do well in o lvl. haix

im so confused right now. dont know what to do.

i dont know what he wants from me, i just cant read his mind. then now, another one(yx) come tell me he has got feeling for me, is like, wad the hell? i dont know what to do.

if only there is someone out there who will help me solve my problem, that will be great.

i tried so hard to understand him, tried so hard to read his mind, but i failed to do so. i told him everything, but he told me nothing, nothing at all.

sometimes i thought im thinking too much, but i think he is the one who is making me think that much.

message him, he did not reply. actually was meeting him today, but he message me and told me that he going back to his school to do some registration stuff. luckily i got my sister to accompany me, if not i will be left alone.

then now, i called him, but he did not pick up my call or return my call. saw him online in msn, so decided to chat with him in msn, but he did not reply. so thought he was busy doing his stuff, so i did not disturb him anymore.

but after that, he just offline, without even saying a night or bye to me. sometimes, he never know how i felt.

i really tried very hard, but this is what i get. what am i supposed to do? maybe im really thinking too much. but my jo say maybe he was really busy.

message with yx just now. told him what happened, and he say maybe im thinking too much. m i really thinking too much? what can i do.

no mood to study social studies anymore. guess he is sleeping right now. is it really like wad yx and jo said? i wanted to be angry with him, but i cant bring myself to do it.

i admit that sometime i really did something to make him angry, but i was just being concerned, thats all. haix

this is really making me sick. i will never get what i want.

spend quite alot of $$ today. got to save up and find work soon.

whoever read my blog, dont ask me what happened. cause i wont even bothered to say, just blog out for fun. thats how im feeling right now, feeling lousy right now.

stop here bah. good luck to myself, as well as ling for tomorrow social studies. hopefully theme3 comes out tomorrow. =D

jun`

damn...

2007-10-21T04:20:00.000-07:00

long time never update this dead blog of mine. time for my to update now.

O lvl started already. beside revising for my subjects, im also rushing my art paper2. really stressful now. but shall relaxed after all my paper, which will be quite soon bah.

chatted with monkey in the morning. he is doing quite well in australia right now. he is so sweet lah. gonna give his girlfriend and his parents an unexpected surprise. LOL. the surprise quite stupid lah. hope he really does surprise his girlfriend and his parents bah. haha

so long never meet monkey already. he is still the same, still crap a lot with me. still say want to meet me. -.- later his girlfriend angry then he know. LOL.

monkey, trust your girlfriend lah. i believe that she wont do that behind you, since she has already chosen this path.

remember what i told you this afternoon, only when the you two trust each other, then your relationship will last. dont bring your past into the present, dont treat her like your past. forget about your past and moved on with your present. only then you will be happy.

dont care or think about what your ex is doing now. although some thing u do for ur girlfriend is like what you did last time with your ex, you still should not let your ex come in to your present relationship.

whatever she do now doesnt concern you anymore. so dont read her blog or friendster. dont care about her life, and you should jolly well know what she did to you. no use to keep thinking of her right?

just be contented with what you have now. i believe you will be happier. meet up soon when you come back, ask your girlfriend along, if not she will anyhow think. LOL. remember to smile more. you look nicer if u put on a smile=)

damn freak out a moment ago...

fuck..

i loathe you this type of guy. whether you see tis a not, i dont give a damn shit about you. get what i mean?

flirt is the only thing you know how to do right? you are her best friend cum good listening ear. you like her, and you know she got boyfriend, and you want her to be yours. what the fucking hell is this? then when she rejected you, told you she love her boyfriend, you told her its ok.

you asked her whether she will miss you, she said "of course!". because she treat you as her close friend, thats why she misses you. then you simply just told her you will leave her life, and hope she dont miss you and be good to her boyfriend.

what the fuck is all this? just because she got a boyfriend, then she cant have you as her close friend? what kind of logic is this?

man, you just hurt her so deeply. after saying all that, you wished her all the best with her boyfriend, and told her not to miss you.

FUCK YOU man!!! you know you are her close friend and a listening ear to her, and you said that to her. when she was down you say you can lend her your shoulder. then now wad?

think about it yourself, dont you think you are too much? just because she rejected you, then you just want to leave her life. dont you think this is ridiculous? if i ever sees you, dun blame me if i slap you or scold you or whatever.

i just dont give a damn even if you are a guy. you know her, and you should know after you say all that, you have hurt her deeply. she wanted you so much as her close friend, she told you everything, then now wad?

you just antagonized me lah. damn. never see her so sad before.

im hot under the collar right now. shit you to spoil my mood also. damn.

ling, you and him will be fine one. dont dwell onto this so much. now you and him still chatted in msn what. unlike me, want to chat with someone also cannot. i know you cherished the moment when you are with him, and are excited, or should say happy when you are with him.

see you happy i also happy de lah. you are my sister lei, got any problem i will help you de. as long as it is within my reach. haha. ask him dont bet so much lah, and you continue to be his luck lady=) haha

think i should get to my beauty sleep now. dont know whether i can a not. haha.

jun`

happy birthday ling=)

2007-10-08T23:09:00.000-07:00

celebrate ling birthday with her, i had a great day with her. but my pimples are all popping up=(

head down to vivo at 2 plus, walk around there. and seriously, i hate walking there. i will get lost anytime.

after that, went to nee ann city to eat seoul garden. sat there and ate for around 1 hour plus or 2 hour.after eating, we went to e toilet to do some business, i did small business, but ling do big business.

when we finish our business, we head back to amk, den accompany ling to arcade. played ssr with her. i am an idiot is all the arcade games, what to do? i am just so dumb.

around 9pm, ling went home. den dunno whether meeting him, was waiting for his call. i waited under a block in case he wants to meet, so i dont have to go home and go out again. the wind there was cold after raining. my whole leg turn cold and numb.

waited for his call from 9pm to 9.50pm, and he finally called. thought he was in school studying, but he uses his house phone to call me.

he said, " i am not meeting you already. i am too tired, meet u another time. "

i was like what the hell. thought he say he will call me after his school to confirm with me whether we are meeting. then, i treat it as nothing happened, and chat with him on the phone. he say he go take a short nap and asked me to call him when i reach home.

i told him to go and rest and dont have to wait for my call as he say he was tired for one whole day. then we was like going to quarrel, so i hang up the phone. i received his message saying, "i just want you to call me when you reach home, and it seem so difficult...." blah blah blah.

straight after i reach home, i called him. then kinda gave him some attitude. and he sense that something is not right, and he keep asking me what happened. he thought i cried. i never told him i waited for him under a block. i kept tis from him.

received his message from net. decided to hang up the phone and chat with him in msn. replied his message, and told him what happened. now he felt bad and guilty. it was my own fault actually, cant blame him as it was my own idea to wait for him under the block.

he was tired, i told him to rest. he didnt want to rest as he say he wanted to chat with me. i told him to rest for a few times, but he was stubborn and insisted on chatting with me. i couldnt do anything, so i continued to chat with him.

he kept saying sorry to me when it wasnt his fault. he told me to forget about this incident to avoid anymore misunderstanding and quarrel. now we are back to normal.

then wei called me. chat with him on the phone, and as usual, we crap on the phone. he asked me about the "les" thing, and asked me to message her. i was like, huh? crazy. lol.

i think the so called "les" is actually a guy. after so much of "investigation", wei, long and me predicted the "les" to be a guy.

was crapping so much when long called me. hang up with wei and chat with long. dont know whether want to meet him a not. deciding.....

when i saw you,
i was scare to talk to you.
when i first talk to you,
i was scared to kiss you.
when i first kiss you,
i was scared to love you.
now that i love you,
i am scared to lose you.

time for me to sleep now. its late already. take care everyone=)

jun`

2007-10-04T23:25:00.000-07:00

read this from ling blog...

there was this girl,

she doesn't know how to skate .
so one day, the teacher taught her how to skate;
she gave her a chair,
and let it be a support for her to hold on to .
so, that girl pushed the chair forward & started skating .
she felt that it was so easy,
having a support to hold onto while skating .
so for the next few lessons,
she used that particular chair to skate .
one day, the teacher came & saw her still using that chair .
therefore she went forward & removed it .
the girl fell down & shouted
'' i want the chair, i need the chair . ''
the teacher ignored her .
after awhile, w the determination of the girl,
she stood up &started to skate on her own .
she realised that actually, she have alrdy learnt how to skate .
it's just that she thought she couldnt do it without the chair

we always rely too much on others .
we thought we cannot live without that particular person .
but have you ever thought thru this ?
its not wthr you can or cannot !
it's wthr you want or dont want ?
we thought the past will haunt us forever,
we cant move on .
similarly, it's wthr we want to let go of it anot .
you dont be able to see the future,
if you dont want to let go of the past .

i hope YOU GET WHAT I MEAN .

we've to move on w life no matter what .

now i know what to do. without him, i still can live on. i have already let go and move on.

my love for him has slowly fade, although i still miss him sometime.

my hand is so tiring after carrying all e 8 wax-hands. my hand need some rest now. shall take some pics and upload later.

jun`

2007-10-02T23:50:00.000-07:00

today didnt go school. whole day at home, so boring.

im sick now, having sore throat, running nose, and slight fever. feeling so terrible right now.

crap with ah wei again just now. LOL. talk to him about first time was about 30 plus mins, den after that, a few minutes, den 50mins 46secs. LOL.

he damn funny lah. he dun have the strength to walk, so lie on his sofa and sleep. LOL.

he say that he was feeling so tired after a game of soccer, but he cant get to sleep. he was closing his eyes while talking to me just now. i was disturbing him all the way, and can tell he cant stand my craziness. so he went crazy just like me. LOL

and as usual, he going to watch his soccer ltr. haha. today he late for work, think he will be late tomorrow. shall give him a morning call before i go school tomorrow.

long sickness seem to be getting worse, but he claim that he is feeling better, and he is going to work tomorrow. so stupid of him, sick dun want to rest at home.

he say tomorrow he want to meet me, but i dun think im going to meet him. he should get some rest at home instead of meeting me. he got a scolding from me just now. think now he should be in bed le bah. lol

dun know why, today all of them seem to be so busy. call them, but they never pick up. one say he was busy working, one say he was fishing, thats why didnt heard his phone ring, one say he was busy sleeping. craps.

luckily my ling still available. LOL. was crapping with her just now. LOL. really very long never see her liao. never sees her for a few days. LOL. few days nia and im missing her already. LOL.

dun know what will happened if she dies?*touch wood*. of course she wont die so easily, because she got ME!! LOL.

haiya, ling and him so sweet sia, like husband and wife. next time when they live together dun know what will happened. i think ants and bees will be seelping next to them in their bed. LOL.

enough of my craps. LOL. its time for me to sleep. LOL.

jun`

boring

2007-10-01T23:45:00.000-07:00

after such a long time, think its time to update this dead blog of mine.

well, today woke up late for school. got a morning call from krystal, and my father tried to scared me by telling me a teacher called me. lol. this morning, 2hrs of free period as our english teacher never come to school. so the whole class slack in e library.

the stupid librarian. think she indian i scared arh. haha.stupid. all she know is shout at students, then when teacher comes, she kept quiet. damn her man. lol.

the whole class was like crapping all the way until chemistry lesson. actually they dun plan to go for chemistry lesson.

BUT, our chemistry teacher saw us. so got to go for chemistry lesson. then had maths lesson for only 15mins. haha. only go through 2 questions. den she release us early.

den after school go to someone house, but in e end, just got back some attitude. maybe im thinking too much. but the way that someone act, seem to be unhappy. but nvm, its over already=)

chat with Wei on the phone for 2hours 32mins 55secs. haha. told him a lot of my th, and he told me al ot about his past. can tell that he is so flirt when he was young. but now, he is such a different person.

he doesnt like to interact much with others, except for those whom he know. haha. felt so relax after chatting with him. never felt this way for such a long time. we crap alot on phone. and im going to take a photo of him if i ever get to see him, because he hate taking photo!! LOL.

yea, as usual, he is going to wake up at 3am to watch soccer, and he got to go work tomorrow morning. he is going to be late again. lol. going to give him a toilet call if i haven slp ltr. haha. just hang up the phone not long, guess now he should be in his dream land. lol

ah long, take good care of urself. drink more water, think you are going to get to high fever soon. lol. eat someth light and please dun eat fried and oily food. i warn u before. see, now you got yourself into deep trouble. haha. rest well, shall meet up soon again=)

miss everyone so much especially my baobei(JIALING). LOL. she didnt go to school today, because today is CHILDREN'S DAY!!! lame. damn her for sending me those chicken msg. make me cannot stop laughing.

tomorrow waking up at 6.30am. hopefully i can manage to wake up and morning call my baobei. lol. =) shall stop here now. its time for me to enter my dreamland. LOL. sorry guys, im kinda crazy and in high spirit recently, pardon me. thx. haha

jun`

emo.

2007-09-19T22:20:00.000-07:00

i took a penknife
right to my wrist
a drop of water
lands on my mark
my life too painful
to keep on going
i give in
and feel woozy
i wish my love
to those who knew me
tokeep on living
not like me.

Don't ask me how I'm feeling
Because I'll just say "ok"
But really it say nothing
On just how I feel today
Don't ask me what I'm thinking
On what's going through my brain
If only you got a taste
You'd think I was insane
Don't ask me what I'm saying
Or why I talk at all
I'm just reminding myelf I can speak
As I walk through the empy hall
Don't ask me what I'm seeing
Because you could see it too
If you'd only open your eyes
But right now you havn't got a clue
Don't ask me what I'm doing
You wouldn't understand
I'm just waiting for 'The End'
Seeing all the chaos at hand

jun`

thx.

2007-09-17T22:40:00.000-07:00

thank for all ur concern. ahwei, thank for comforting me always when i gt problem. tis time, im really getting my hand out of these. sick and tired of it, somemore im sick now. haix, hope everyth will be over soon, and i will be picking up my mood again. but dunno when will my mood be back e same. just feeling so down now. dun worry about me, i wont think so much now le. shall concentrate on my studies now.

give my blessing to 2 ppl today. wish them happiness bah=)

除了祝福他们，
我想不到任何可以说的话。
就算我继续想恋，
他也不知道。
我的痛苦他永远不知道，
也永远不会理解。
从每想过我的感受。
哭泣是我唯一可以做的事。
从开始到现在，
也许只是我一相情愿，
一个人的付出,
真得很辛苦。
再也不想爱了。
我理解自己的感受。
也试着去了解其他人的感受。
时间，
我需要的是时间。
试着给我自己时间忘了他。
希望我自己能做到。
只能靠我自己的恒心，
我才能做到。
希望如此吧！

frens, take care. i wont be online until everyth is back like e past.=)

jun`

her msg to u guys.

2007-09-16T01:00:00.000-07:00

jun msg to u guys....

"friends, sorry for making u all worry about me. sorry for not picking up ur call n replying all ur msg. just not in good mood. other den this, i wont be doing anything silly. dun worry about me. i think i will be fine after sometime. wont be online for this period. dun contact me for the time being bah."

ann..

cant get to slp.

2007-09-15T04:00:00.000-07:00

cant get to slp as im still thinking about him. simply just cant stop thinking about him.

i keep telling my frens i wanted to forget him, i wanted to give up e one i love. but in my heart, im saying dun give up, dun forget him. wad excatly m i suppose to do?

frens console me, tried to cheer me up especially ling n him. thx alot, i really appreciate it.

i might be strong on e outside, smiling n laughing along with my fren, trying to act like normal, like nth has happened, but inside my heart, im bleeding n crying.

i just cant give up on e one i love. im simply me. unlike others, some may give up on their love n give their love his/her blessing. as for me, i do give my blessing to him. but i didnt wan to give up on him.

he and his gf seem to be loving. some say they dun look like a couple. but now, after seeing one testi frm one of his fren, e fact is, tat gal, who took pic tgt with him, is his gf. im just so sad.

im missing him once again. with him, i felt happy, n didnt even wan to think about all e unpleasant things tat had happened tat day. i miss him. i miss e time when we were sitting tgt, chit chatting, n making fun of each other.

he is so much different frm e other guys i noe. seriously miss him alot. learn alot of things frm him, but y does he has to do tis? he is e onli guy who i shed tears for him so many time.

e love i had for him is tooOoo deep. my fragile heart is being stabbed again n again. e wounds i had needs a very long time to heal.

praying hard tat he will come bck to me,
im naive, stubborn.
i think about someth which would not happened,
didnt wan to follow wad others say.
i wanted so much for him to contact me again.
tis day finally came,
but i said something which i didnt wan to say.
felt so hurt n sad.
since he was nv meant to be mine,
think i should let go?
wad m i doing?
saying tis again when in my heart,
i didnt wan to let go.

he is e guy i ever wanted, nice character although he doesnt really hc e look.but looks doesnt matter. nw since he has already gt a gf, hoping tat she will treat him real good, hope tat he wont get hurt by her.

shall stop writing here.

jun`

e day....

2007-09-14T22:20:00.001-07:00

finally, today i received his msg, but im sad.

he told me to concentrate on my studies and good luck for my o lvl. n i wish him all e best with e one he love. i said tat, although i dun really wan to. fekt sad after saying tat.

received his msg right after i woke up frm a small nap. was so shocked when i saw e msg was frm him. but immediately felt sad after wishing him all e best. well, i tried hard to controlled my tears.

after ling went hm, i met up with my fren. told him wad heppened, but tis time, i couldnt control anymore. just cried out. i love him!

giving up e one i love is so hurting. but e one i love doesnt seem to noe or care even if he noe it. why is love always making me so confused? cried 2nd time today.

wad should i do? no matter how hard i try, it is still so hard to forget.

will i be happy if i give up my love? ppl say i will be happier, but i seem to be even more sad. just keep thinking about him.

if u really love someone,
dun give up.
let him noe u love him,
let him noe how u feel.
no use loving him if he doesnt noe how u feel.
being love by someone is a happy thing,
but loving someone is e saddest thing to do.
follow ur heart,
dun let others make e decision for u.
no matter wad,
u will still be e one facing everything.
follow ur heat.
give u all my blessing.
wish u will be really happy with her.
one last time im saying tis,
i love you.

shall end my post here.

jun`

sickening

2007-09-13T19:20:00.000-07:00

still cant stop thinking about him. life is like so sucky. frens oso so sucky. dunno wad happened to me.

cant we even be fren? is it a wrong th to be fren? well.. one after another, ppl keep breaking up, or giving up their love for their love ones.

if "she" exist, den i shall retreat. why cant we just get e love we one?

thinking of him again n again n again. so wad if i think of him. he doesnt even noe or care about tis. why m i missing him? is there no other th i can do to stop thinking about him?

y did i fall so deeply in love with him? y did i like him? y didnt i hate him? sometimes i dunno wad im thinking about. just felt so stupid.

now, one after another give me attitude. "f***" attitude. yea, i admit tat i do give attitude sometimes, but in a joking manner. if u were to give me hell attitude, den sry. dun blame me for being too mean towards u.

gal, dun be hypocrite. dun be another person infront of me, n behind me, u are talking bad about me. anyth unhappy about me just come face to face talk to me.

dun ask ur fren to come view me or wadever. u dun even noe me well, n guess u noe tat all tat u said are all bull-shitting. or should i say u nv think be4 u speak? tat is provided if i wan to be polite to u.

u can be mean to me, i can oso be mean. noe u are older den me. i dun give a damn f**. u are just acting like one immature child. doing all those stuff behind me to spoil my reputation? u are e one being shameless.

and ***. stop going around telling lies. dun go around telling ppl i sleep tgt with u, do wadever with u. i didnt even meet u, so its impossible for me to do all those th with u.

wad did u tell ur fren? im ur "FLING"??? excuse me, plz mind wad u say.

u got ur gf. dun think tat u are really tat attractive to attract gals. come on, fling are being hated by me. plz mind wad u say nxt time. dun let me noe u say nonsense to ur fren again.

i would greatly appreciate it if u would stop giving ur frens my number. thx

just so fed up now. but im still missing and thinking about him. haix, wad should i do?

tears are like running tap, heart felt like it was being stabbed. once again, i cried for him again. cant hlp it. maybe wont be online today. frens, if u wanna contact me, msg my phone or call me.

jun`

hell day!!

2007-09-13T00:20:00.000-07:00

still cant stop thinking about him. dunno wad should i do now. cant get to slp, no mood for anyth.

ling.. dun think so much lah. consider it seriously. dun give up just like tat. u nv noe wad will happened nxt. no matter how hiong tat gal is, as long as e guy heart still hv u, u didnt hv to worry too much. now u just hv to noe wad he is thinking about. update till here.

jun`

haix

2007-09-11T17:05:00.000-07:00

be4 i go to sch, it is a morning surprise to me!!

now, from wad i saw, tis show tat my instinct isnt wrong. its much more hurting to see it with my own eyes. i would rather he say it out himself.

im sO sad right now. tis morning after i saw it, i threw again all e th tat i wanted to give him. tear each card with tears flowing down. its so hurting.

tis whole day wasnt really in e mood. kept quiet in class, nv talk to anyone unless they talk to me. looked so much like im suffering frm depression-.-

thought tat i would be able to let go. but nw, i dun think so. i just couldnt stop myself frm thinking about him all day long.

after sch,went to amk n had a short chat with one of my classmate. told her wad happened, and tears started to roll down. i couldnt stop my tears frm rolling down as it was too hurting. it took me sometime to stop crying, but nw, as im writing tis post, i couldnt stop my tears again. y did i fall so deeply in love with him? felt so stupid right now.

althought u gt urself a partner,
im still thinking about u.
how m i supposed to forget everything about u?
its just so difficult,
just like one fish trying to drown itself.
i would rather u tell me tat urself,
at least it wont be so hurting,
den seeing it with my own eyes.
if tis were meant to be an ending,
i will accept it,
and try to continue my life without thinking of u.
as time passes by,
i hope tat my love for u will slowly fade away,
although u are e only one tat i love so deeply.
lastly,
i give u my blessing.

shall log off now before i really break down into tears. hw i wish someone can lend me his/her shoulder now.

jun`

love!

2007-09-10T22:55:00.000-07:00

school started, n o lvl is just a month plus away!!!! so fast. haix

what excatly is love?

love is so confusing!!!

somtime, avoiding is nt e way of solving any problem. Dont know if he is really avoiding me anot. haix

It has been quite some time, and yet i still cant stop thinking about him. maybe if tat day my fren didnt msg him to tell him tat, we wont be like tat bah. haix, dont know wad happened to me now. hw i wish i could receive one of his msg now.

recently, when i heard vibration frm my phone, i would hope and expect it to be him. did i do someth wrong to make him avoid me? why do i have to always encounter tis type of problem? is tis meant to be? or should i say fate? tis is e first time i fall so deeply in someone i like, just miss him so much. tis may sound crazy, but tis is hw i feel nw.

Although we has never been really together, but my feeling for him seem to be so deep. whenever im with him, i can forget about all e unhappy th tat happened tat day. just felt so happy when im with him. no matter im happy or sad, he will always be beside me. i really love those time when he was with me.

BUT wad excatly happened now? can i ever get this memories back to reality? not just memory, but in my life? i doubt so. haix. wad excalty is bothering him right now? why didnt he wan to reply my msg or pick up my call?

i told ling tat maybe he has already got a gf, tats y he didnt wan to contact me anymore. but she just keep saying im thinking too much. if im really thinking too much, den why is he like tat? did tat on purpose or its just e fact?

someone who like me told me to give me "his" frenster, so tat he can hlp me ask why is he like avoiding me. i rejected his offer, and asked him "u noe i like him, and u like me. will u be happy after u help me?" . he said "no". i would rather he dun help me as i had already hurt him so much, so much tat i felt so guilty.

den another person who like me gave up. he gave me his blessing. he told me "i noe i wont get a chance because in ur heart, u onli have "him". i give u my blessing, take care." once again, i hurt another person. i just felt so guilty.

i tried sp hard to stop thinking about him, by keeping myself busy. but i still miss him alot. wad should i do? im missing him more n more each day. but no matter wad i msg him, he choose not to reply. if there is realmy someth bothering him, i would rather he be frank n tell me everyth. im so confused now. tis question is easy to ans, but why does it seem to be so hard to get a ans frm him? hope i can get a reply frm him as soon as possible. haix

better get going now. feel so sad now.

jun`

123

2007-09-10T19:40:00.000-07:00

Testing testing...